So beautiful. I feel very much the same way. I give away all the excess dairy and meat I produce to good friends who share their bounty with me. As my kids leave home, my ability to produce far exceeds our household needs. And I value good food and connection. Win win. I find there is no monetary value I can place on my care and time. Only sharing makes sense to me.
I can tell how emotional you were when writing this. I would be far too weak and sentimental to kill anything, even for food. I ask forgiveness when I cut a plant ffs! 😂 I can imagine how hard it must be, and why you would not want to continue. Will your farm provide for yourselves? I am so sick of the merry-go-round of 'the system', I would so love to get off and be more self sufficient. I hope you are proud of everything you have achieved, and will achieve going forward.💕
My worst job as a gardener was thinning out seedlings. It seems so brutal, but you know it has to be done for the best to thrive. Thinning out the flock has to be approached with the same sort of pragmatism, there’s just no room for sentiment, except you’re looking them in the eye and it is many, many times harder. I do have the buffer of not being the one who actually pulls the trigger, I’m not sure I could trust myself to, so even when we kill them at home the actual killing is himself’s job. Yes, our aim is to be more self-provisioning, and also to share with our little local community with more focus on the goats for milk, fruit and herb gardens and so on, and still raise enough meat for ourselves. Thank you, Ali xx
Yes thinning out perfectly good seedlings so that the rest can thrive. Goes against the grain, doesn't it? But that is what happens in nature, it is totally un-sentimental. Have human beings always been this way, or have we just become 'softer' the further away from the natural order of the land we have removed ourselves? I can't get my head around it, because at the same time, humans have become more brutal too, ie mainstream farming methods, ongoing recent war and genocide, racism etc...
I wonder if we’ve become so disconnected from the natural brutality of what it takes to survive in nature, and as carnivores, that we’ve misdirected that propensity in ourselves onto each other and onto nature herself… this would be an interesting essay topic to explore!
Yes, it certainly would! Reminds me of my friend Jenni who said we are all born with the potential for that close relationship with the land and nature, but modern living severs us from it so we live in a perpetual state of grief that we can't explain. In some people, that might transform into aggression, or hate, I suppose.
I hate having the power of life or death over my cattle, the day I have to chose what young heifer to keep back for the herd when the rest are sent to the stores sale. Crying time again.
Thank-you for this post, so thoughtful, as are all your posts.
The Oxford Food Symposium is holding its monthly Kitchen Table conversation this Wednesday the 19th, on Zoom at 5pm Irish and UK time, noon Eastern. The topic is "Death Matters: We need to talk about Animal Slaughter."
If you have the time it would be wonderful if you could join the discussion. You'd need to register, but there's no payment required...
I can't sell live animals either. I did when we first started goat dairying, but there were a few times when I really didn't like the looks of the customers. I was too much a people pleaser at the time to tell the people I'd reconsidered so I just stood there with a pit in my stomach as they took the little goat kids away. We switched to sheep because then the responsibility was ours. If we needed meat we had to look the animal in the eye and mourn the loss.
We just had this experience with a goat recently. Not a home bred but one we bought in that just didn’t suit us. Lovely goat, and I thought the person/place would be a good fit for her until they got here, but they came a long way on a promise that she was held for them and we needed the goat gone so I didn’t feel I could back out of the transaction. Sadly she’s ended up in the kind of place she was bred for, but not the kind of place I would ever let a home bred go for any money. We won’t sell an animal again, possible rare exception being to someone we know personally whose farm we’ve been to. I’d rather have surplus meat to give away than sell a live animal again. And like you say, take responsibility and look them in the eye.
So beautiful. I feel very much the same way. I give away all the excess dairy and meat I produce to good friends who share their bounty with me. As my kids leave home, my ability to produce far exceeds our household needs. And I value good food and connection. Win win. I find there is no monetary value I can place on my care and time. Only sharing makes sense to me.
Yes, perfectly said. Thank you, Melissa
I can tell how emotional you were when writing this. I would be far too weak and sentimental to kill anything, even for food. I ask forgiveness when I cut a plant ffs! 😂 I can imagine how hard it must be, and why you would not want to continue. Will your farm provide for yourselves? I am so sick of the merry-go-round of 'the system', I would so love to get off and be more self sufficient. I hope you are proud of everything you have achieved, and will achieve going forward.💕
My worst job as a gardener was thinning out seedlings. It seems so brutal, but you know it has to be done for the best to thrive. Thinning out the flock has to be approached with the same sort of pragmatism, there’s just no room for sentiment, except you’re looking them in the eye and it is many, many times harder. I do have the buffer of not being the one who actually pulls the trigger, I’m not sure I could trust myself to, so even when we kill them at home the actual killing is himself’s job. Yes, our aim is to be more self-provisioning, and also to share with our little local community with more focus on the goats for milk, fruit and herb gardens and so on, and still raise enough meat for ourselves. Thank you, Ali xx
Yes thinning out perfectly good seedlings so that the rest can thrive. Goes against the grain, doesn't it? But that is what happens in nature, it is totally un-sentimental. Have human beings always been this way, or have we just become 'softer' the further away from the natural order of the land we have removed ourselves? I can't get my head around it, because at the same time, humans have become more brutal too, ie mainstream farming methods, ongoing recent war and genocide, racism etc...
I wonder if we’ve become so disconnected from the natural brutality of what it takes to survive in nature, and as carnivores, that we’ve misdirected that propensity in ourselves onto each other and onto nature herself… this would be an interesting essay topic to explore!
Yes, it certainly would! Reminds me of my friend Jenni who said we are all born with the potential for that close relationship with the land and nature, but modern living severs us from it so we live in a perpetual state of grief that we can't explain. In some people, that might transform into aggression, or hate, I suppose.
I hate having the power of life or death over my cattle, the day I have to chose what young heifer to keep back for the herd when the rest are sent to the stores sale. Crying time again.
Yes, every time.
There's so much of resonance in here. I especially love your treatment of the word "pet." Thank you, Carly.
Ha yes, that word gets to me! Thank you, Adam.
Thank-you for this post, so thoughtful, as are all your posts.
The Oxford Food Symposium is holding its monthly Kitchen Table conversation this Wednesday the 19th, on Zoom at 5pm Irish and UK time, noon Eastern. The topic is "Death Matters: We need to talk about Animal Slaughter."
If you have the time it would be wonderful if you could join the discussion. You'd need to register, but there's no payment required...
Warm best wishes, naomi
Thank you, Naomi. This sounds really interesting, I will check it out and see if I can shuffle my schedule around, thank you for the invitation.
Strength and honour to you, respect and dignity to the ewes.
Thank you, Gwyn.
Such a difficult job, all of you. You are so caring.
The hardest part. Thank you, Trish
I can't sell live animals either. I did when we first started goat dairying, but there were a few times when I really didn't like the looks of the customers. I was too much a people pleaser at the time to tell the people I'd reconsidered so I just stood there with a pit in my stomach as they took the little goat kids away. We switched to sheep because then the responsibility was ours. If we needed meat we had to look the animal in the eye and mourn the loss.
We just had this experience with a goat recently. Not a home bred but one we bought in that just didn’t suit us. Lovely goat, and I thought the person/place would be a good fit for her until they got here, but they came a long way on a promise that she was held for them and we needed the goat gone so I didn’t feel I could back out of the transaction. Sadly she’s ended up in the kind of place she was bred for, but not the kind of place I would ever let a home bred go for any money. We won’t sell an animal again, possible rare exception being to someone we know personally whose farm we’ve been to. I’d rather have surplus meat to give away than sell a live animal again. And like you say, take responsibility and look them in the eye.