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Susanna Sheley's avatar

I so appreciate the way you express what it is to bear the weight of killing something you’ve raised yourself. I struggled with this last year slaughtering my first ram, and I’m already dreading the slaughter date I have set for two of my lambs in a month. In Oregon it’s lawful to have a mobile slaughterer come out to the property to kill the animal, then he transports it to the butcher. It hurts contemplating which sheep I’ll slaughter, but like you say, I wouldn’t want that sting to dull with time.

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you, Susanna. I would love mobile slaughter to be a thing here! It’s a tough call between doing them ourselves or taking them in tbh because we also really want to support our butcher- there would have been a small abattoir in every village not so long ago but sadly they’re in swift decline and struggling, and I think it’s so important to keep them going, before all there is is the factory.

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Joel Timothy's avatar

Lately I've been reading a book called The Ethics of Beauty, and the author, Timothy Patitsas, makes the point to state the fact that even in instances where a war can be "justified," it is still a thing of ugliness, and one that leaves deep wounds in the souls of those who participate. This post, and the way you write about raising and killing your animals, makes me think of that fact. How, even in choosing the better way, choosing to understand where it is your food has come from, and know that the animal lived as well as it might have, and was killed as humanely as possible to give its life and body for yours -- even in knowing these things, there is a sobering sadness to this act. It is to me a reminder that we have not been given clean, black-and-white lives to live, but a world full of complexity, and compromise, where balance is hard-won. Good on you, Carly, for doing your darnedest to live well in spite of it all.

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Carly Wright's avatar

Your second to last sentence “…a world full of complexity and compromise where balance is hard won”. This really spoke to me. Balance is hard won and ever adjusting, in a world full of pain and sorrow as well as celebration and joy. Thank you for such a thoughtful comment, Joel.

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All that Is Solid's avatar

Powerful, moving piece. Well done.

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you.

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Mystical Seeking Places's avatar

this really moved me. Beautifully written. I have no experience with this, but I understand it now. so much better. Thank you for sharing.

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you

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Rostislava Pankova-Karadjova's avatar

Oiling stop reading. And I’m in tears… thanks you, a powerful story!

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Rostislava Pankova-Karadjova's avatar

This was meant to be Couldn’t stop reading… (sorry about the predictive text slip)

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Jane Dougherty's avatar

I feel your pain, and for the same reasons. It's not the killing of an animal that is destined to be eaten by a carnivore. It's our inability to do it humanely. There's nothing humane about industrial cattle rearing. Perhaps if we saw meat as a life taken, gave it its just value, it would be so expensive we'd treat it as a luxury, eat far less of it, and there's be no excuse for the factory farms.

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Ali Isaac's avatar

Hi Carly. I would struggle with this too. But think of the care you have devoted to your animals, the good natural healthy happy life you have provided for this animal and all your animals. In the horrible food production chain capitalism has built, most farmed animals don't even get that. I understand how it feels like a betrayal, and how it hurts, but try to hold on to how this animal led a good life. That was down to you. 💕

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you, Ali :)

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Hadden Turner's avatar

Your words masterfully conveyed the weightiness of the act Carly. The death of the livestock we eat is something that the supermarket and the distance between consumer and farmer had desensitised us to. But the sombreness remains. It is why I believe to waste a piece of meat is ten times worse than to waste some vegetables.

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you, Hadden. Yes, I agree, I don’t mind too much if a few veggies end up in the compost, but to waste a scrap of meat is sacrilege, even more so when it’s from an animal we knew and cared for.

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Geni Johnston's avatar

You live the way we should all live keeping the circle of life going in a loving caring way 💖. Sadly I have to buy my meat, but when I can buy it from a local farmer I do 🥰

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you Geni, perhaps raising our own may not be the life for everyone but taking the care to buy from local farmers is so important too. 😊

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Whitney McKnight's avatar

Oh, Carly, this broke my heart. The pictures, augh.. Sending you love. I can't help but think this will stay with you for a while.

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you, Whitney.

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Roselle Angwin's avatar

You know, I'm a vegan. Lifelong living in the country watching life and death and concluding that I can (and do) grow my own plant protein, and I don't need to kill to live.

And still, I read your words and admire you a lot for what you're doing and how you're doing it. Courage and beauty. Respect!

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you, Roselle. I personally don’t do well with plant proteins and neither our land or climate are conducive to growing them sufficiently, but I appreciate your perspective. I suppose owning the responsibility of the lives and deaths that feed me is my way of reconciling with it.

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Sophia Jackson's avatar

Beautifully written. I grew up on a homestead, where my father and grandfather butchered our animals. I spent most of my adult years away from farms, earning a living and eating grocery store food. Now I'm helping to build a new homestead, and know that I'll be faced with having to butcher our animals when we eventually get them. It weighs on me, my lack of knowledge, my fears of making mistakes. I love the honesty with which you write. Thank you.

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you, Sophia. I think there would be something wrong if it didn’t weigh on us. It does get easier, but it’s never easy.

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Ambermoggie's avatar

My heart goes out to you both but yes to eat something must die sadly. You raised well with care and love so the animals have their best life. Hugs

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you.

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Lou Tamposi's avatar

Powerful piece, Carly.

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Carly Wright's avatar

Thank you, Lou.

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